here is link to erika’s blog about the show making process:
you, me, and everybody that we know.
a shape is beginning to emerge. the shape seems divided into three parts. the first part is about home, and drifting. the second part is about what has happened. and the third is about how long can we keep this up, and what does it mean to stop.
e and i speak over lunch about the encounter with making the show. i feel frustrated that the show is difficult, and wish i could apply rigour to loosen it up. but i understand that sometimes one must look with soft eyes, and allow the show to emerge slowly.
e says that shows can be timid too and frighten easily.
she also talks about going against ones natural habits. slower and gentle if you are used to being more athletic. physical and exhaustive if you are lighter.
why is it that the world constructs itself in such a way that you must cultivate the opposite?
a lot of the ideas coming to e and i are in formless hunches. my reaction is to think that at some point we must trust that meaning comes later.
what is most important is to create some materials that engage us in a constructive conversation.
in preparation i have created a list of ways i experience life:
life feels strangely elusive like i could disappear if i am not careful.
every time i travel i learn a little something about life i didn’t know.
i feel the least amount of fear when i am making something.
i often feel like i don’t know what to do.
rarely does an opportunity present itself without you doing something to make it happen.
nothing really lasts, and when you think about that when you are doing something you really enjoy you appreciate it more.
the feeling that life can be overwhelming and terrifying can cover up for a deeper feeling that you believe things don’t work out- but what evidence is there for that?
things have worked out so far.
there is beauty in a lot of things.
food always makes meetings better.
each element needs to have a sort of sense to it. today we work toward that sense, and the rules that may help define it.
we talked about folk tales again. talking animals. maybe a black bird.
‘you can’t drift forever or you will go insane’.
i was watching an interview with lars von tier about his anticrist film in which he talks about starting from a thesis he does not necessarily believe in. i find myself thinking of this when i consider my belief that all states of drift must end at some point.
‘they all returned from their adventure drunk, and exhausted to discovered nothing had changed, that nothing could have changed.’
for von tier there is an opportunity to learn something from arguing a thesis one does not believe.
e and i left the day talking about the need to start generating quantity, and deferring judgement.
a day for independent research. a time to chase one’s own curiosities. a necessary step at this point.
i am looking closely at the folk story- simple straight forward story with a talking animal or two.
the interest in the project construction always interests me at the beginning. the shapes that make up the work. with this project we take our cues from the derive. a long walk/stroll. yet, the folk tale has something to tell us. this impulse comes intuitively, but if one looks at the starting points it may be more obvious than that.
there is a constant cycle of forgetting/ remembering. looking for what is mysterious/ what is obvious.
the day begins with an exercise. we wander about the city open to adventure. i observe all the lines of motion. i allow myself to be pulled by the people on the street.
e and i meet to talk about our discoveries over coffee. we find our ways to character and situation.
ideas are tender at this point. they need to be strengthened by research.
narrow the focus.
define the terms:
loneliness- absence of connection with others
place- the landscape you feel belonging to
there is also a fear that emerges in these early days. a fear of moving into the idea. of answering the questions.
talking, brainstorming, coffee and biscuits. reminding ourselves of project descriptions. looking at rehearsal spaces.
“So, more than a substance, plastic is the very idea of infinite transformation; as its everyday name indicates, it is ubiquity made visible. And it is this, in fact, which makes it a miraculous substance: a miracle is always a sudden transformation of nature. Plastic remains impregnated throughout with this wonder: it is less a thing than the trace of movement.” roland barthes